Rain drums down on our beat-up old car. Today, they are rhythmic reminders of my mortality. Store signs, people, a cluster of clouds all enter in and out of view. My eyes are glazed over and burn from fatigue and too many tears. My head aches. I struggle to be ‘okay’ but I fail miserably. I break down and cry in the middle of the street and I’m sure people just think I’m nuts. I am, I guess.
The rain slowly breaks and stillness follows. I love that stillness. I stand solemn at the edge of the sidewalk now. A small, graceful woman is in the middle of the parking lot, camera pointed to the sky.
I look up – a rainbow.
A bright, unmistakable arc of colors right there at the edge of dark clouds – sun breaking through. And it shines on us all.
For a moment, we are awed. A few people stand and stare upward, grinning or whispering to each other. But, the moment is fleeting, and so quickly forgotten. Within seconds, they’re back to bustling. But I’m still standing there.
The majesty of God almighty saturates me and I’m surrendered right there in that parking lot. Yes, God, yes. You’re amazing – Your creation, breath-taking. Here I am, God, spinning on a sphere called earth. Here I am in this bizarre existence, staring at your promise sprawled across the vast blue.
Here I am, despite the pain, despite death and sorrow and unanswered questions and deep, dark, sadness. Here I am, witnessing Your miracles.
A middle aged man wails on his acoustic guitar outside the LCBO as people side-step around him. A professional talks business on his phone. A women argues with her male company. People push in and out of the dollar store. I still stand, the rainbow, enchanting me. Some people would think I’m poetic or artsy or whimsy or something other than normal. I know. But tears easily stream down when I let myself think fully on His wonder and my role here on this green globe.
It is astounding to consider – rainbows, rain drops, gravity. Glorious life. God Himself made me and knows my name. He has a purpose for ME. (And for you, dear friend). And there’s this whole other world that exists beyond earth, this crazy, God-filled, Narnia-esque place waiting for us. If we choose it.
This is worth tearing up for. I’m alive. I’m alive.
The rainbow glows above the shops. I blink and force myself to keep walking. I glance back. I don’t want to forget – the beauty, the wonder. The sacredness of life here. I stand in the place where colors meet cloud and cloud meets mist and mist build and floods my very heart. Floods bring overflow – just what He promises.
“This is what I want you to do: Ask the Father for whatever is in keeping with the things I’ve revealed to you. Ask in my name, according to my will, and he’ll most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be a river overflowing its banks!” John 16:23-24