I Have All I Need.

Another flyer arrives in our little mailbox and my heart pounds.  Advertisements for pillows and vases and more Spring-like STUFF haunt me.  They haunt me while I pray for a young boy in Uganda who wants only to be healthy.

And we say we care.  We care about the poor. We care about the sick. Oh yes, we’re Christians!  Of course we care about people.  Really?

I’m realizing that saying I care and living like this consumer-driven world tells me to – is just plain lying. God is doing something in my soul, whether I want Him to or not.  And I’ve come to this point where a simple flyer makes me almost nauseous.

I read a blog post about another boy in Tanzania.  He lives in a mud hut where he barely has the basics for survival, yet, on the walls of his humble home he boldly paints “Psalm 23”.

“The Lord is my Shepherd,
I have all I need.”

This boy, who to most of the world has nothing – knows this truth – when the Lord Jesus is your Shepherd, you truly do have everything you need in this world.

I breathe out and the tears come.  Again.  They come often these days.  But, I am the most at peace I’ve ever been in my life.  I truly am.  Yet my soul is uneasy.  But I think our soul ought to be uneasy in this messed up world.

The scripture says it, TEST everything.

So, I’m testing myself and I’m testing this culture.  So many of us live life wanting the next thing – always the next thing… the more, the bigger, the best.   We want to buy, we want to be entertained, we want to do whatever we want.  My heart aches and I’m literally sick of it in myself.  No more of this ‘baby steps’ garbage I’ve been telling myself for years when it comes to what I need vs. what I want.  There is no time for baby steps.  We are called to live in leaps for Christ.  I want to leap.  I want to run towards Him with every once of myself.

I want to say “I have everything I need”, and actually mean it.  Actually live it out.  Actually make others my priority in a way that means, yes, I sacrifice.  But when I start talking about the things I can sell – heads shake.  It’s radical… it’s weird.   No, it’s not – it’s required.

I long to want for nothing so I can
intentionally hold on to what really matters.

I want to hold dear and smell long the little potted Basil plants our children made for Mother’s Day.  They were so proud to give this simple gift.  So joyful, bounding from Sunday School with colorful mugs in their little hands.  I want to savor these simple gifts, given in such pure, unconditional love, and know I have all I need. 

I want to memorize what it’s like to watch our children scooping for tadpoles and playing with frogs. Their innocence.  Their ease with nature.  Their need for nothing that comes in packaging or with a price tag.  I want to be all there and just engage.  Stop cleaning, stop fixing, stop doing and just be.  Just be in this mindset of, “I have all I need”.  I want to live in this child-like state of complete contentment and awe of God’s creation.

We are called to truly live in an “I have all I need” mentality for a reason.  It frees us from the bondage of consuming.  It opens our eyes and ears to the Lord.  And it frees us to wildly give of our time, money, resources, and every other little thing He calls us to let go of – so we can cling to the precious, the eternal. 

The LORD is my shepherd,  I shall not be in want.  He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,  he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.   

On the journey… never there,  Cassandra 
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  • Grace

    so beautiful and very thought out and true! I am working on my wants and needs, not only financially but as what the Lord is asking me to do with my time. My adopted son and I are now in a therapy program where we are needing to be together 24/7…no breaks, no letting the older siblings take him…deep sigh and a temper tantrum later…this IS really important. Thank you for the reminder and you are a light!

  • Sara H

    So very true. We are prone to forget that God is all we need. And we are prone to fall for advertising. I learned this recently when I let my kids watch commercial TV for the first time. I kid you not, the first words out of their mouths after just one commercial was, "I need that." :D!!

    I loved this: "I breathe out and the tears come. Again. They come often these days. But, I am the most at peace I've ever been in my life. I truly am. Yet my soul is uneasy. But I think our soul ought to be uneasy in this messed up world." God is at work in you. I believe that is really what it feels like when He is changing us and causing us to grow.

    Blessings. Sara

  • jeana

    I was just picking up our house, playing over and over in my mind how on earth these children of ours got to be so ungrateful. I stopped as I suddenly thought about myself, our new home, the things we "need" to make it better. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I am placing value on the worldly things we need right now more than I am of Christ. Then I came down and read this post. Thank you for sharing just what I needed to hear.

  • Emily

    Wow! I recently found your blog…and I am deeply moved by so much of what you write. Everything I have read, thus far, rings so true. My husband and I also homeschool our children, we are passionate about modesty, we have never lied to our children about the Easter Bunny, tooth fairy, or Santa Clause. Sometimes, it is a lonely world. Yet, my husband and I are always amazed when we find that there are 'normal' people in this world that think in the same ways that we do, yet actually have the courage to take the plunge on some of the hardest choices. You are unbelievably inspiring! May God shower his blessings on you and your family!

    • Cassandra

      Thank you so much, ladies for all your comments. *LOVE!*
      Grace – that sounds intense! I pray this time grows you strong and bonded together for life. 😉
      Jeana – I think we ALL do that. Have you read "Kisses From Katie"? I think our culture clouds our minds. I think our culture pulls us away from the reality of what we have.
      Emily, thanks so much too for your sweet words and encouragement. I am right there with you – I understand what it is like to feel weird and different. I feel like a total weirdo most of the time. 🙂 My next blog post is actually about that very thing… ha. Sounds like we could be kindred spirits. Big hugs.

  • Sarah

    Lovely, you will not regret the choice. I live in a developing country where our daily needs are met but wants like cheese and whole wheat bread we trust God for. I have been here ten years now and I always detox after having been home in the states to visit for the very reason of the flyers and the sheer amount of stuff that is accessible to you all there. I remember when a friend clipped some basil she had carefully cultivated and shared some with us. I made basil butter with it so it would last and the pleasure of that small thing brought me so much joy. The direction you are heading is not less it is more and the secret is that when you have less you enjoy what you have more and the amount of things that you are enjoying also grows. Even in our impoverished country we don't grab for everything but savor and fast as it were from the luxuries and we always feel rich. Thanks for your post it reminds me that God is good and blessing us fully right where we are if we only stop long enough to see them, value them and enjoy them. Bless you for being honest.

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