A Weak Homeschooler’s Prayer

Might I humbly share what I wrote this morning in my prayer journal?  

Lord, these days are long, when my husband leaves for work and doesn’t return until after the kids are in bed.  Give me strength… no, not only strength but a different perspective.  Not thinking “Oh, what a long day ahead… how will I get through it?” but instead, “Oh, what a great day I now have to spend with our children. How blessed I am for these long, quiet, safe, holy days.”  It sounds cheesy but how different my life would be if I looked at all things from a positive perspective instead of subconsciously thinking the worst.

Hard to believe THIS was three years ago already…  they stay cocooned for such a short time…
Within a few months, this little boy was already done being bundled… these stages fly by faster than is fair…

These days are not long, arduous days – these days are numbered, precious occurrences that will one day run out.  One day, our children will grow up and I will grow old and I will long for quiet days with three kids at the kitchen table.  Spills and all.  Teach me Lore, to not count the minutes but rather, cherish the moments.  Every moment is filled with life.  Life unexpected, life uncertain, life fleeting, life passing by, life so precious.  Remind me, Father, in the eyes of our children, that what I do as a Mom has deep value and my purpose is so firmly rooted in You.  These little ones, their souls, their hearts and their spirits – they are in my hands.  Every day, all day, they count on me to be here, present, nurturing them, helping them learn and grow to their potential in You.  How did I inherit this?

More cocooned days, long passed… when baby girl was only two…
now she’s nearing five… have I cherished these days?
Thank You, Lord, that it is not in myself that I trust.  Thank you, God that I can lean fully on You and Your guiding hand.  Although, I don’t do that enough.  Thank you for affirming me as a Mom, as a teacher, and as an important part of Your eternal Kingdom.  Help me never to lose sight of the big (so very big) picture of this life. 
Heaven is our home,
and earth is but a footstool. 
This isn’t it!  Raising of children and growing their hearts at home, no matter how unconventional, is Your work.  Kingdom work.  Yes, I have been set apart for such a time as this…

Remind me that messy paint tables and spilled Science experiments and unfinished assignments are all a part of this imperfect journey.  Show me how arguing siblings and dogs chewing art projects are molding me, molding us.  Open my eyes to the nature that surrounds us and brings us closer to You… showing us Your love.   Make me so vividly awake to the truth that rewards are found in the embrace of a child and the kitchen laughter on a rainy afternoon.  In hot chocolates on the couch, surrounded by children and audio books.  In long nature walks by the river when everyone else is stuck in the classroom or the office.  That I am intensely blessed and many would trade places with me in a moment.  That rewards are piled up in Heaven when we sacrifice ourselves and choose to follow You.  Yes, rewards are there in Your Kingdom for us Moms who plug through these days, daring to count fully on You.

Yes, God, pour your grace on those of us daring the live counter-culturally.  Daring to say, ‘I will be the primary care provider for my children.  I will teach them, even if I am not qualified.  I will put my children and my calling before my own desires and I will push aside what people may think or say about me’.  

The year we started this home schooling journey… the year that changed our life and rendered me so in need of grace…

I will choose to look around me every single day and raise my hands up to the sky whispering, “Thank you, Jesus!”.  That I’m here.  That I can do this.  That my husband has a job to support us, that our home is safe and warm and these walls hold in love and wonder.  Thank you for the craziness, for that chaos, it reminds me I need You.  Thank you for the quiet moments, though very few, for they restore my soul and give me strength. 

Fill me with Your grace, Your hope, Your light, Your truth.  Humble me to be a true example of Your love to our children.  I surrender this home and these home school days to Your will… teach me Father, what that means.  I’m not good at surrender.  But I need to be.

Praise You God….  for Your love… Your ever-presence  Amen.

“I lift up my eyes to the hills-
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Majer of heaven and earth.”
“He will not let your foot slip-
He who whatches over you will not slumber;
He who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.”
“The Lord watches over you-
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.”
“The Lord will keep you from all harm-
He will watch over your life;
the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.”
(Ps. 121: 1-8)


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