The breeze bounced happily around our hair today as we drove home from having Pizza together at a small Pizzaria. Just me and my three. Gleeful at the glorious sunshine on this spring day, we were on our way to the park for a leisurely walk and play in the sand pit. Bliss.
I was noticing the buds. Buds everywhere – on EVERYTHING! It’s finally really Spring. Out of nowhere, this little voice squeaks from the backseat of the van. “Mama, we don’t ever gotta be rushin’.”
My heart warmed instantly. I knew just what was being said. We had just watched the crazy bustle of the street, the attitude of a few high school students as they pushed in line, the countless miserable Moms who always seem to be in such a hurry to get somewhere – do they even know where they’re headed? And our daughter noticed – “…we don’t ever gotta to be rushin’.”
I didn’t ruin the moment by adding my often (to me) necessary commentary (who knew, eh?). I just breathed it in. All I said was, “You’re right honey, we don’t ever have to be rushing.” She already said all there was to say. And today, I feel elated. Elated at the sunshine. At the blooming Spring everywhere. Elated at the two little boys carefully constructing a seesaw out of a plank and bricks out the window. Elated at the little girl who constantly comes inside saying, “Mama?” this, and “Mama?” that. I’m just… elated.
And no, we don’t ever have to be rushing. And this is a blessing beyond words. Thank you Jesus! We can enjoy the moments. Every moment. Even the crazy ones where two small kids are hiding (and almost knocking over) the wrack of Green Bags at the grocery store whilst the other one simultaneously loses Mama’s $20 bill. *sigh* Even then, can I live elated?
Elated that as I type, my only 15 minutes I take in a day, to have a tea and watch little ones play… they are toting pillows into the backyard. Oh, and blankets. And… they’re mucky. And they’re laying in the sun on the grass (the squishy grass), pretending to snuggle up and sleep. And I can do nothing but smile. Why do things like this bother some and yet, render me blissful on a day like today? Life’s too short to rush. Too short to yell and scream at your kids, to shove them along… to not let them stop and smell the flowers… because we “Have to get dinner on the table”. Forget about dinner. SMELL THE DANG FLOWERS. (And I’ve had to say this to myself far too often).
I say it to myself in the midst of writing this very post and go outside to join our kids in this once-in-a-lifetime moment of backyard afternoon bedtime.
|The kids fix me my own ‘bed’.|
|<pause> What a moment of rest – how did I almost miss this?|
(I’m back – husband is home… how blessed I am to have a man who comes home and sees all his living room pillows on the grass and exclaims, “COOL!” *smirk*)
But why? Why have I not tuned in to this level of bliss before. Why, oh WHY, has it taken me six years. SIX YEARS of being a ‘Mama’ and only now am I truly, fully, seeing the ultimate ELATION the everyday brings. Because every day is the only day we can savor, right now. And that’s what I love about educating our kids at home. There’s no bustle. No hurry. No getting here on time, going there on time. It’s just – us. And we do as we please. And it’s our life. Imagine that.
I’m not perfect. Our kids get crazy. I get crazy. We all lose it sometimes. But the good… the good so far outweighs the bad. And I cherish more and more… but I’ve cherished far too little.
Tears well up. They’re tears of joy and of sorrow. Sorrow for the lost years where I ate but never fully TASTED. Joy that God is revealing it to me now. Joy that I’ve decided and firmly committed to living life tasting all that is around me, all the gifts I’ve been given. Looking at each moment as the only one like it – as the only chance I’ll ever get, in that very heartbeat, to taste, chew, pause, enjoy, revel.
Lord, let me never miss a second of it. Not a second.